Confessions of an (pre-)Asshole

Had a discussion with dwayne today , and he was quite suprised at how mature I was . Well , as it seems, many people think that I’m a porn watching , no life , low life .

That may be due to my retarded days of lower sec where I did alot of stupid things, and hence my bad reputation . Furthermore, everyone still thinks I watch porn on a regular basis .

Well , I don’t . I don’t know why , but I’m just not that horny anymore. I think academics has taken over my sex drive . I really do not know why I changed that much . I used to be hyperactive all the time , but now I’m quiet most of the time . It’s as if I forgotten how to socialise - but then again , being hyperactive is not a good way to make friends ; as acredited to my friends labelling me with an “attitude problem”.

Looking back, I realised that I thought then by making myself exceptional even in negative values would make me popular, and thus I declared alot of lies , hoping to make myself popular . Pretending and acting like a porn freak was one of them.

Well, there’s the porn part of me settled . It’s really really retarded .

And then, my weirdness in lower sec .I thought being weird would attract girls. Weird right? How stupid I was .

Moreover, I liked to insult people , without restrictions , during my lower sec life . This made me alot ( I mean ALOT ) of enemies . Examples are keyan , perhaps ashton . I tried to make up and the only successful case was ashton . Because of my presumed invincibility , I was not insulted by someone during that period and did not feel the hurt . When I did , it was too late . At least the people I know I can insult freely with because they understand me so much that they know when I”m joking is :

Lucius

Dwayne

And the insulting part of me consituted a huge portion of my negative reputation . Now , though I still insult people , I do it on a occasional basis to my not so close friends and for the aforementioned , every time I see them or the chance arises . Most of the time , I only bite back when you bite first.

ARROGANCE

I remember boasting about my grade 8 piano and grade 7 violin that time . Stupid . I still do though , but do it tactfully in a jokingly manner, so yeah, that’s that.

My chinese teachers , who’s bilingual , told us a confucius saying that :

” The energy spent on bridging bad relationships should be spent on furthering friendships instead “

It means that lost cases are lost cases , and we should focus on the present, and build ourselves from there .

Thanks dwayne for prompting this reflection